Peace in Foster Care
When I think of foster care the last word I would use to describe it is “peaceful”. In fact, I can’t think of anything more polar opposite. Finding peace in foster care is the equivalent to searching for a needle in a hay stack. The image that comes to mind is Horton the elephant searching for the speck in a vast field of clovers. He searched all day long picking through 9005 clovers, to no avail. And then, as soon as he’s about to give up the wind blows and he finds the exact clover the speck lives on.
I know that’s an odd and maybe even a little corny illustration, but that’s a mom for ya. If we aren’t being obnoxious or embarrassing our kids somehow (because comedic relief is the only tool to survival in this thing called parenthood) are we even parents?
Peace can be a tricky thing. The ongoing question of “is this me or is this God?” is continually on replay in my head. But, once you truly find peace in one area of your life or in life in general it is undeniable, almost palpable.
How do you find peace in the midst of the storm that is foster care?
Peace, for me was and is putting 110% trust in God and His plan. I don’t mean the coined phrase “we’re just trusting God to ________” I mean, the real Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” kind of trust.
September 25, 2018 my entire world was flipped upside down. When the judge declared my two foster sons, at the time 2 & 3, would be reunited with their biological mother after spending 847 days with me, I was shattered. Now, I can’t say this day came as a shock, I had been anticipating this reunification for 7 months. And ever so slowly God prepared my heart for one of the most painful transitions of my life. Don’t mistake that for easy please. it was anything but that. It was months of weeping, begging, pleading and bartering with God to somehow change the inevitable outcome of the foreseeable future. And even through it all, I began to get an odd peace about them leaving and that peace only grew as we neared September 25. I can even remember being mad at God for giving me a peace, and you better believe I fought it to the very end. I questioned how I was able to have so much calm in the middle of such a violent storm. But, God.
I feel I need to clarify. I believe you can be in mourning, and at peace simultaneously. Because I was literally distraught and beside myself at the thought of losing them, but that did not take away the peace that surpassed all understanding.
Foster care is anything but peaceful, but I promise if you can learn to fully trust God with a Job like faith you will experience a peace that is truly unexplainable.
And what a blessing that is.
Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY SITUATION, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.